Fatigue. That seems to be a theme for 2020. Change fatigue. Compassion fatigue. Life fatigue. Research suggests that in times of incredible pain or trauma, situations with lots of uncertainty, and increased changes to environments, a natural human response is fatigue.
Over the last several months, I’ve found myself listening a lot more — to stories and people that I may not have heard before, as well as to dear friends and their experiences during this year. As someone in a inter-racial marriage, with a bi-racial baby, 2020 has been a year where I’ve found my heart breaking at injustices and pain, and also so hopeful that the future is brighter and changing. As someone in higher education, I’ve experienced my professional life changing rapidly, moment by moment, with little certainty about what is next (or how to prepare). Each day the news is covering the dramatic changes for higher education and the various implications this has for those who are professionals in this environment.
My hope is that, when we come out on the other side of 2020, we won’t just have survived this year. Rather, we’ll have learned how to thrive. This won’t be easy though. And, despite being exhausted, it’s going to require each person to show up and intentionally pursue growth.
I was going to launch my non-profit this year, and hoped to dedicated it to my little one who has taught me so much about finding good and overcoming after trauma. But Covid, and many other things, have made that just unrealistic right now. So, after a lot of counsel and research, I’ve decided to take one (very small) step by starting conversations and developing content to help others create good. Because that’s what I’m able to do right now.
My vision, what I want to inspire people toward and champion people with, is the ability to create good. And I desperately want to dispel the myth that you have to have it all figured out, or create a global solution, in order to make changes. The truth is, big changes start with small moments. Moments of doing the hard, speaking truth, choosing joy. In all the little ways that build toward a better future.
If you’re looking for a few ways to create good no matter where you are, or how much time you have, here’s a few ideas. I’d love to learn what you’ve been doing to create good too!
Have the hard conversations: It takes a lot of courage to have difficult conversations — especially when you may have wildly different views. But we need to have these conversations. And we need more people who do this well. This summer, while I’ve been mainly silent on social media, I decided to do what is harder for me: If I needed to have a difficult conversation, I connected individually with the person (I far prefer Instagram to phone conversations). But here’s the thing. Rarely are peoples’ minds changed through Instagram or Facebook debates. However, I’ve seen a lot of transformation come from relationships and transparent conversations. So that’s a space I’ve been cultivating in a season where our world seems to present many opportunities to engage with others’ views.
Reject Compassion Fatigue. Life is hard right now. For all of us. Remember that, often what’s most important in a conversation is what the person hasn’t shared — the layoff that happened; the food insecurity they are facing; the mental health challenges they are having; etc. I want to see 2021 come with all of us doing better — which means, seeing the best in people (even while having those hard conversations). It means being willing to give the benefit of the doubt when you get the text that sounds too harsh, or you see the post on social media that frustrates you. It’s about believing tomorrow (and the people of tomorrow) can be better. And to get there, we have to all champion the best of ourselves and each other, realizing that right now is just really hard.
Do the Small Things: While I’ve felt overwhelmed by what it takes just to “do life” right now as a working parent without childcare, I also know the value of being an active member in our community. Doing just one small thing can really make a difference: Take cookies to your neighbors; make a meal for that elderly couple; donate items to the homeless shelter; adopt a pet; or send a card to someone you know could really use it.
My hope is to continue contributing to ways we can create good. I’ll mainly focus on public relations, higher education, and work/life balance as those are the spaces and places I find myself in. And I hope, by continuing to do small things and adding to conversations about this, that 2021 will see all of us in a better place personally, professionally and globally.
